Mean What You Say

"I am forthcoming and decisive....I think...."

Ever say yes when you meant no? Ever avoided telling someone that you were upset because you didn’t want to upset them? Ever say you didn’t care when you did and let someone else make a decision for you? Made you pretty resentful, didn’t it?

I found a story I wrote about a year ago. I was at work when someone asked me if we should go a route that I disagreed with. Instead of saying, “No, let’s do something else instead,” the actual words I used were somewhere along the lines of, “Wellllll…..uh…hmmmm…..I dunno….” I used a voice inflection to insinuate my message instead of using up-front words. WHY THE HECK DIDN’T I JUST SAY NO FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE?!? I've been working on keeping all my messages accurate and to the point ever since.

We are not doing anyone any favors by being unclear or untruthful – quite the opposite, actually. When you do not say what you believe to be true, you're lying. Plain and simple. When you lie, you're doing yourself and the person you're speaking to a rather serious injustice by cheating everyone of the truth. It drags things out, it plants false ideas, it robs you of Power of Choice and it can do an excellent job of wrecking personal and professional relationships. How many people do you know that are extremely understanding when they find out that you've been dishonest? I know zero people like that and frankly, I don't want to know those people. Those are the people who only want you to tell them what they want to hear. No, thank you! My friends today all know and they'll agree - "Don't ask Micki a question unless you're sure you want to hear the answer!" I'll not be mean or heartless or condescending, but I will be honest.

Mean what you say. I can now vouch that in the long run you and everyone around you will be a lot happier, even if your honesty is sometimes hard to say and/or hard to hear. Also, in the process of telling people the truth you will learn new truths about yourself! Honesty is a blessing.

A Year Of Hope

I have lots of friends who I talk to and see quite a lot. I subscribe to a number of blogs that range in content quite a lot, from perfumed oils to total geeks to renowned authors and photographers. Seems to me like 2010 was a year of mention.
I entered 2010 with a foreboding feeling that the bottom had dropped out and I rang in the new year as cheerily as I could...which was not nearly cheery enough, especially for me. As the year progressed and I tried to figure out what to do with these uninvited emotions, I ended up forming a new, extra-steely bond with my husband and a couple of very close friends who I now hold even dearer. Closer to June, I hit breaking point and with as much dignity as I could possibly muster, I straightened up and screamed at the top of my spiritual lungs, "ENOUGH ALREADY! I'VE HAD IT!" I took steps that scared the bejeezes out of me and I did it knowing that if I didn't, part of me was going to die. Thank God for the people in my life who reminded me through the year that it was all going to be ok. I ended 2010 and entered 2011 rather proud of myself for sticking out the tough times while upholding my "moral fiber". It was of the utmost importance to me to maintain an amount of dignity in my trials and though I can't say I wouldn't do a few things differently, I think overall I did pretty ok.
Is this sounding familiar to anyone? Because the more I read and the more I talk to people the more I hear the undertones of my own tale told back to me in different circumstances. I'm not saying anyone is out of the woods yet, but it's sure nice to be in a place that feels fresh and hopeful. It's like a brand new room with nice carpet and fresh paint and now we're all ready to start adding squishy furniture and pretty paintings. I'm ready to join my comrades in making 2011 a really place to live.