Mean What You Say

"I am forthcoming and decisive....I think...."

Ever say yes when you meant no? Ever avoided telling someone that you were upset because you didn’t want to upset them? Ever say you didn’t care when you did and let someone else make a decision for you? Made you pretty resentful, didn’t it?

I found a story I wrote about a year ago. I was at work when someone asked me if we should go a route that I disagreed with. Instead of saying, “No, let’s do something else instead,” the actual words I used were somewhere along the lines of, “Wellllll…..uh…hmmmm…..I dunno….” I used a voice inflection to insinuate my message instead of using up-front words. WHY THE HECK DIDN’T I JUST SAY NO FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE?!? I've been working on keeping all my messages accurate and to the point ever since.

We are not doing anyone any favors by being unclear or untruthful – quite the opposite, actually. When you do not say what you believe to be true, you're lying. Plain and simple. When you lie, you're doing yourself and the person you're speaking to a rather serious injustice by cheating everyone of the truth. It drags things out, it plants false ideas, it robs you of Power of Choice and it can do an excellent job of wrecking personal and professional relationships. How many people do you know that are extremely understanding when they find out that you've been dishonest? I know zero people like that and frankly, I don't want to know those people. Those are the people who only want you to tell them what they want to hear. No, thank you! My friends today all know and they'll agree - "Don't ask Micki a question unless you're sure you want to hear the answer!" I'll not be mean or heartless or condescending, but I will be honest.

Mean what you say. I can now vouch that in the long run you and everyone around you will be a lot happier, even if your honesty is sometimes hard to say and/or hard to hear. Also, in the process of telling people the truth you will learn new truths about yourself! Honesty is a blessing.

A Year Of Hope

I have lots of friends who I talk to and see quite a lot. I subscribe to a number of blogs that range in content quite a lot, from perfumed oils to total geeks to renowned authors and photographers. Seems to me like 2010 was a year of mention.
I entered 2010 with a foreboding feeling that the bottom had dropped out and I rang in the new year as cheerily as I could...which was not nearly cheery enough, especially for me. As the year progressed and I tried to figure out what to do with these uninvited emotions, I ended up forming a new, extra-steely bond with my husband and a couple of very close friends who I now hold even dearer. Closer to June, I hit breaking point and with as much dignity as I could possibly muster, I straightened up and screamed at the top of my spiritual lungs, "ENOUGH ALREADY! I'VE HAD IT!" I took steps that scared the bejeezes out of me and I did it knowing that if I didn't, part of me was going to die. Thank God for the people in my life who reminded me through the year that it was all going to be ok. I ended 2010 and entered 2011 rather proud of myself for sticking out the tough times while upholding my "moral fiber". It was of the utmost importance to me to maintain an amount of dignity in my trials and though I can't say I wouldn't do a few things differently, I think overall I did pretty ok.
Is this sounding familiar to anyone? Because the more I read and the more I talk to people the more I hear the undertones of my own tale told back to me in different circumstances. I'm not saying anyone is out of the woods yet, but it's sure nice to be in a place that feels fresh and hopeful. It's like a brand new room with nice carpet and fresh paint and now we're all ready to start adding squishy furniture and pretty paintings. I'm ready to join my comrades in making 2011 a really place to live.

Flatbread

Last Friday, I went to my mom's house to learn how to make Flatbread. It's tradition that we eat this paper-thin, crunchy bread at our big family Christmas gathering and it's rather hard work. My grandma made it, then when she got too "old" my mom made it, and now it's my turn to take over the task. It's a very simple recipe and Mom was right - you get yourself into a rhythm. Roll out a piece of dough, open the oven, flip one piece, remove one piece, put in a piece. Roll out a piece of dough, open the oven....I finished about 30 or 35 pieces of flatbread in about 3 1/2 hours and Mom said it was done in record time.

I respect some traditions. I like the idea that some things get carried down through generations and I like the idea of the next person making the task even better. Mom said, "Now, imagine doing this like Grandma: without the company and conversation using an oven you had to prop shut with a broom handle because the door wouldn't stay shut on it's own." I can't imagine. My addition to this tradition is I'm always going to have someone fun with me when I make Flatbread at Christmas. My mom made it fun. She loaned me her "Every Girl Needs A Vampire" t-shirt. I didn't mind sweating so much.

I encourage everyone to find something really wonderful to adopt as "tradition" and share it with those around you.

Me By Nature

I present this question: Is everyone a natural-born Something Great?

My answer is, “YES!!!”

If you don’t know what your special talent is, just look at your life from a different angle. For years, when I went to a bar or party the troubled person in the room would gravitate straight to me to tell me about how they just lost their job/broke up with their boyfriend/need to quit drinking. The worst part was that amongst my complete annoyance that they were ruining my good time, I really, sincerely wanted to help them. I wanted to find the right magic words to make them understand everything would be ok. I wanted to offer them advice that would make them feel better or give them some direction. Thank heavens I now have my healing art. Now I can get all my “help the world” energy out in a constructive way and I can actually enjoy myself at public functions again. People rarely approach me at parties or bars any more. But when they do, I listen closely and still want to help.

 My point in that story is that I had an affinity for helping others. I was a good listener, I would often say really helpful things completely out of nowhere and when I finally started a healing practice, I was also able to direct my energy in a way that would make bodies feel better. That wasn’t always completely obvious if I looked at it in an obvious way and said, like I’ve heard so many other people say, “Why am I the freak magnet?!?”

When you find that helping people is part of who you are by nature, you never shut it off. Ever. Sometimes I wish I could shut off being a healer. Sometimes I know my friends wish they could stop being teachers and leaders. But we don’t really want to do that – it would be denying who we are and, after all, we are these people because it makes us feel good to be those people.

The other side of this is that anyone can be anything they want to be. I’ve seen people go from not knowing anything about Chi Kung healing and feeling awkward with it to becoming very successful healers. I’ve seen people go from bad-postured and insecure to full time martial arts instructors and community leaders. I think, in a way, we all have every trait known to man within us and who we become is a matter of who we allow ourselves to be. It’s like the old parable about the man who says “I have two tigers that live within me. One of them is a ferocious and violent killer. The other is calm, gentle and friendly.” His friend said, “Which one do we see?” And the man replied, “Whichever one I feed.” Whatever we feed within ourselves is that which will grow.

So I have two questions for you: Do you know what your special talent is and are you “feeding” it for the greater good of all?

Thanksgiving

No matter where you are at this moment, there is much to be thankful for.

Where The Heck Am I?

How many times have I looked around at my life like I was a stranger in a strange land. Everything is going just fine, I have no idea I've been on auto-pilot for entirely too long. Suddenly, some angel or other throws a bucket of ice cold awareness on my head, forcing me to look around and say, "Ooooops.....I'm lost." Hey, it happens to the best of us.

The comforting news is that we all falter. We all find ourselves off track now and again. If we're lucky, we are growing and changing all the time. When we start to change and forget to re-check the compass, well, welcome to The Twilight Zone.

The good news is that we have to know and acknowledge that we're lost before it would ever occur to us to seek direction. Once you can say, "Yes, mmhmmm, definitely uncomfortably off course here," that is the moment you can start to change direction.

The great news is that we can never go too far to turn. Until we have managed to make the grand final escape from Earth, we can always regain our bearings and start a new journey. There are endless sources of direction available to us at all times. There are people who devote their whole life to pointing the way for us. Reach out and get some help - even a friendly sounding board. Reach in and meditate to reconnect with the Great Big All and who you really are. And remember, the best way to start a journey is to first be thankful for where you are when you start.